Chapter 36-38: Idol Hero

“…I know her, the water hero, Celestis-chan.”

When I returned to the Light Church, I report to Karen-san about what happened today.

Karen-san answered with a bitter smile.

“She is an incredible person, right? She fights monsters as a hero and also works as an… idol, was it? The job that you sing and show people your dancing, right? I really respect her.” (Karen)

“Hmph, what she is doing is not such a admirable thing like that.” (Mirack)

At the side of Karen-san, there’s Mirack that’s irritated as she fans her tea.

That’s right, that Mirack.

“What they are aiming for is something more sly and wretched than that. It amazes me just how stupid men are for being deceived by that surface cuteness without knowing anything.” (Mirack)

“Uhm…Mirack-san?” (Haine)

“What?” (Mirack)

The fire hero, Katack Mirack, answers.

“You are acting as if it’s extremely natural to be here but…what’s going on? This is the Light Church, you know?” (Haine)

Your headquarters are at the neighboring land, you know?

“Are you an idiot? Karen and I have formed a official alliance. For the sake of information exchange, isn’t it a given that we would be meeting at least once a month?” (Mirack)

“But Mirack-chan, you came yesterday as well…” (Karen)

“Of course I did!” (Mirack)

She vigorously washed away the retort of Karen-san.

“If we are talking about incredible, Mirack-chan is also incredible, you know Haine-san. Since we joined forces, she segmented the light and fire land in detail, and decided on how to cover those areas with the two of us. She is also actively seeking for training in combining elements.” (Karen)

Eh?

This girl that was shouting repeatedly that ‘all heroes aside from me are enemies’ not that long ago?

“What? Do you have a problem?” (Mirack)

“No, not really. Mirack-san has cute parts as well huh.” (Haine)

“Those words, I will take them as a declaration of war.” (Mirack)

Well, it is a good thing that the two who were in a stormy relationship are now able to get along like in the past.

“Anyways! About the talk of the water hero Celestis, even within the heroes, she is one of the foulest women!” (Mirack)

Looks like the fire hero still has more bones to pick.

“Why? Is working as an idol that bad?” (Haine)

“Haine, you are unexpectedly sharp so you must have already noticed but, advertising the church is a part of the activities of us heroes.” (Mirack)

“Well, yeah.” (Haine)

If the hero holds the standard of the church and defeats monsters, the good will of the populace will incline to their favor.

“The idol work of Celestis is something that radically increases that point of a hero. If we digest what an idol is, it is a popularity job. They make the people themselves as their advertising signs. Celestis promotes herself as a hero via her work as an idol. She is increasing the worth of the Water Church’s standard.” (Mirack)

“That’s…in order to increase the amount of believers in the Water Church?” (Haine)

“Of course. And in reality, there’s certainly fans of Celestis who have joined the Water Church just like that. Moreover, rumors say that it is quite the number.” (Mirack)

Seriously?!

It is true that when I look at Karen-san and Mirack, I can understand that the heroes are the face and standard bearers of the church.

But the water hero Celestis didn’t stop with that, she went further ahead and increased her worth to get more believers. So that’s what an idol is?

“In truth, I understand why captain Vesage and the others are getting neurotic about this. Not only that person’s headquarters, the Water capital, Hydra Ville <ハイドラヴィレッ>, even in the far away Apollon City, her popularity has spread.” (Mirack)

“So that means, Water Church believers might appear right under the nose of the Light Church huh.” (Haine)

Hearing that, I began feeling that was incredibly bad.

“Within the five Churches, there’s a number of agreements made. Forbidding the creation of ethereal weapons is one of them, but the other important agreement is that it is prohibited to do any proselytizing activities at the headquarters of the other churches.” (Mirack)

Well, that’s a given.

The five Churches scramble for the limited amount of believers, in other words, they are business rivals. If a rival were to begin doing business at your garden, that’s akin to picking a fight and would definitely develop into one.

“As long as the Water Church is able to obtain believers at a high efficiency with the Celestis fans, the work of Celestis as an idol is akin to proselytizing. And her popularity has reached Apollon City and even my Muspelheim as well. People in these places become fans of Celestis. And if she gets fans and they enter the Water Church…” (Mirack)

“It would be a legitimate breach of the agreement.” (Haine)

“That’s right. But as of now, the other churches are still lacking a way to attack this breach. No matter what’s said, there’s no proving that idol activities are the same as proselytizing activities after all.” (Mirack)

‘I have also heard about it’, is what Karen-san said as she takes over on the explanation.

“The ones that are actually spreading the word of Celestis-san are the newspaper reporters, and those…’idol goods’, was it? The ones who bring in those idol goods are merchants specialized in that area. It is not like a legitimate member of the Church was involved in it, so it doesn’t enter into the grounds of proselytizing, they say.” (Karen)

“Our Fire Church has also sent numerous objections, but they used the same logic to deftly avoid it. In the end, the best countermeasure of it for now is just as you have witnessed today, stepping into the houses inside the city and confiscate the items related to Celestis. Hard to call that an effective method.” (Mirack)

That stupid-sounding exchange we had a while ago was actually part of a ploy that surrounds a secret feud of the five Churches?

I tried unfolding the poster I had in my right hand.

A confiscated good in today’s idol hunt. This idol poster (in preserved state) I managed to somehow pilfer.

  • 37: Holy Woman’s jealousy

“Hm? That’s…”

The first one to notice what I was doing was Mirack.

She moved from behind me and looks at the spread out poster.

“…It is kind of a sparkly woman that makes my eyes hurt.” (Haine)

Those were my impressions after seeing the idol water hero Celestis.

“She is apparently a super popular idol that’s corroding the five Churches, you know.” (Karen)

“Seriously, how deplorable. What’s with this incredibly deep slit? Wouldn’t that show your panties?! Dirty!” (Mirack)

“But…if it is to this point that makes it almost possible to see, your eyes just end up going there even if you don’t want to. In that sense, they understand the instincts of a man.” (Haine)

“Men are dirty!” (Mirack)

“Then Mirack-san as well, stop wearing that outfit that shows so much cleavage.” (Haine)

The water hero that’s in this poster is, as expected, a young girl that’s around 15 years old. How to say it, she is a glittering type of beauty.

In that sense, Karen-san and Mirack, who are beauties as well, are different types. Her radiant smile had enough impact it felt like it was punching right through the poster.

“Her clothes and accessories are all cold colors and well put together.” (Haine)

“She is probably conscious that she is a hero at the very least. Blue is the symbol color of the Water Church after all.” (Mirack)

“Is that also a thing? Well, in the case of this girl, the cloth material is gleaming and makes you more conscious of her body figure.” (Haine)

“You are really looking carefully, how lascivious.” (Mirack)

“Her arms and legs are in good form, but her breast are bigger than normal, and her curves are drawing a beautiful line…or more like, the guy who took the photo was definitely aiming for this effect.” (Haine)

“You are already closing the line of being disgusting, you know?” (Mirack)

“Is that so? But it is something that was calculated to make you see it this way so… Ah…” (Haine)

The poster was suddenly taken away from me.

When I look up in surprise, I see that the culprit of stealing away the poster from me was Karen-san.

“Karen-san?” (Haine)

“…”

Karen-san silently walks away with the poster in her hands…is what I thought, but the place Karen-san headed to didn’t have a door for her to leave, or even a window, just a wall.

What is she going to do in a place like th—oh, Karen-san spreads the poster on that wall that has nothing and pushes thumb tacks on all four corners to fix it in place.

Well, posters are originally for that though.

“Karen-san, what are you doing?” (Haine)

“Haine-san, please come here.” (Karen)

“Yes!” (Haine)

The tone of Karen-san was the same as always, but she had some sort of intensity that told me she wouldn’t take a no for an answer.

I walk to the front of the wall where the poster is placed at.

And so…

“Please touch it.” (Karen)

“Hah?”

Touch?

“Touch what?” (Haine)

“This.” (Karen)

What Karen pointed at was the poster affixed to the wall, at the idol hero Celestis that was photographed in it -at her chest area.

“Wait, even if it’s a poster…a photo, that’s just…” (Haine)

Touching that chest area would be questionable.

Of course, it is just a photo, but it just feels criminal. No, this actually makes it feel even more criminal and wrong…

“Don’t complain and just touch it please. Even when you touched my boobs…” (Karen)

“Okay?!” (Haine)

This person was still holding a grudge on it!

That was only an accident when we were riding on one vehicle!

“Wait a second. I can’t ignore what you just said!” (Mirack)

Is what Mirack said. When I thought one more troublesome person got involved in it as well…

“Mirack-chan, shut up for a moment. We are in the middle of something here.” (Karen)

“Yes…” (Mirack)

She was immediately shot down.

The fire hero is so weak.

“T-Touch it already please, Haine-san.” (Karen)

“…Yes.” (Haine)

I don’t know what Karen-san is trying to accomplish here, but for now, I felt that the safest choice was to just touch it.

I give up and follow what Karen-san said. In other words, I touch the breasts of the idol affixed at the wall…no, at the photo, nah, I was just touching a wall here.

“…”

*pat pat pat*

Only the expected sensation was felt. Hard. Flat. That’s obvious, it is a wall after all. This is more saddening than I expected.

“So, what are your impressions?” (Karen)

I was asked by Karen-san.

Even if you ask me about my impressions…

“…Uhm, it is an incredible wall. Totally flat. Nothing at all.” (Haine)

“Then, it is my win.” (Karen)

““Win what?!””

Even Mirack shouted with me.

“At any rate, I have decided.” (Karen)

“What?” (Mirack) “What are you trying to make me do now…” (Haine)

Mirack and I were unable to keep up with what was going on and our spirit was slowly being chipped away.

“We are going.” (Karen)

“Go where?” (Haine)

“The Water capital, Hydra Ville. We going there to meet with the water hero, Celestis-san.” (Karen)

  • 38: Partner (Affectionate) Ride <Partner(相) and Affectionate (愛) are written differently, but read in the same way (ai)>

 

“We are going to go meet the water hero?!”  (Haine)

“What are you saying, Karen?! What are you going to do after meeting her?!” (Mirack)

“Of course, we will have a discussion with her”, is what Karen-san said.

“Whatever that person feels, her actions are putting our churches in a troubling state. We are going there to request her to stop it. If negotiation between churches doesn’t work, we will use our own hero connection.” (Karen)

“No well, if something like that was enough to make them stop, the Church would have brought us out already, right? Like, ‘you guys say something too’. They are not idiots, you know?” (Mirack)

Is what Mirack-san says. It looks like she is desperately trying to restrain the eccentric action of Karen-san.

“Have you forgotten, Mirack-chan? We have joined forces!” (Karen)

“We have joined forces!” (Mirack)

“That’s right. Even if they don’t hear us out individually, if it comes to a situation where two heroes request of it at the same time, even Celestis-san shouldn’t be able to refuse. Our alliance can serve of use in this kind of scenarios as well!” (Karen)

“I-I see… When you say it like that…it does feel that way!” (Mirack)

This is not good.

Since the time Mirack reconciled with Karen-san, she has become incredibly weak to the words ‘cooperation’ and ‘joined forces’.

In this kind of moments, I have to fulfill my job as an assistant.

“Wait please, Karen-san. Even if that idea is feasible, wouldn’t it be bad to go all the way to the Water Church?” (Haine)

“Eh?”

For some reason, Karen-san glared at me.

Why is this person so scary today…

“Just think about it. How far is the water capital, Hydra Ville, from here?” (Haine)

“Really far.” (Karen)

“At the very least, it is further than the neighboring Muspelheim. Several times.” (Mirack)

See, as I thought.

“If we go to somewhere like that, we will have no choice but to be absent from our churches. What would happen if monsters were to appear in that frame of time? If there’s only one or two, the people in the area or the knights can do something about it, but the chances of a big swarm like the time with Pythonflies, or a gigantic monster like the fire cow Phalaris appearing are not zero.” (Haine)

“T-That’s right, Karen. That’s exactly the time when heroes are needed. If we were to end up being ‘absent’, it would be an embarrassment!” (Mirack)

Sympathizing with my opinion, Mirack also attacks.

I thought we would be able to convince her like this, but it looks like Karen-san is a hero that doesn’t falter to anyone.

“If it is that, there’s no problem.” (Karen)

“Eh?”

  *   *   *

And so, we were brought to the extended section of the light grand church.

This is the place that has been completely established at the hangar of the small flying machine.

“If we ride this little one, we will be able to arrive at Hydra Ville in less than a day!” (Karen)

Seriously?

I have experienced its speed with my very body, so it is hard to say that’s a lie.

“After this, we just have to take this long-distance ethereal communication device with us. Even in emergencies, we will be able to deal with it. We will be able to assist from anywhere in the world!” (Karen)

“Viva progress…” (Haine)

I also tried adding the meaning ‘I give up’ into it.

“…Eh? But only one person can ride a small-sized flying machine, right? Having 2 people ride it is already its very limit. If we add Mirack-san, it would be 3 people, isn’t that a bit too much?” (Haine)

A new opposing opinion came from a hopeless situation.

But with this, wouldn’t I end up staying? That in itself would be troublesome. Leaving the current Karen-san without supervision might be a bit dangerous…

“If it’s a flying machine, I also have one I used to come here, you know.” (Mirack)

“You are also using one?!” (Haine)

Mirack also has a flying machine. One that is completely red like the symbol color of the Fire Church.

“Isn’t that obvious? Even if it’s relatively close, walking to Apollon City and Muspelheim would take one whole day. If I didn’t have such a convenient ride, like hell I would be able to come here frequently.” (Mirack)

“So you are really coming here frequently!” (Haine)

But with this, all obstructions to head to Hydra Ville have disappeared.

If I had to said one thing, it would be that I don’t have my own flying machine. Maybe, I really will be staying behind?

“Let’s go, Haine-san. Please ride at the back.” (Karen)

“As I thought, it really ended up like this!” (Haine)

Karen-san had already straddled on the flying machine, and her back is facing me. As if telling me to sit there.

“Ah, but just a warning. No pretending like you are clinging onto me and then grab my boobs, okay? Definitely a no, okay?” (Karen)

“Just give me a break already!” (Haine)

I am beginning to feel like this will be haunting me for life.

“Hey you guys, that talk has been coming out pretty frequently for a while now. What’s that about? Don’t tell me, you really touched them?” (Mirack)

And once again, the ‘Karen-san love-love’ girl enters the fray.

“Don’t joke around! Like hell I would let a guy like that ride at the back of Karen! Just leave a guy like that here! No, a great idea came to mind. Haine, you ride my flying machine! I will be the one riding at Karen-san’s back!” (Mirack)

“Mirack-chan, shut up.” (Karen)

“Yes…” (Mirack)

The fire hero is so weak.

“Haine-san is my assistant, so it is a given that he will be accompanying us. Just get on already. Don’t touch my boobs like last time, okay?” (Karen)

“Yeah, yeah…” (Haine)

“Don’t…touch them…okay?” (Karen)

Why are you separating the words like that?

Being told this so insistently, it actually feels as if touching them is the right answer. How strange.

But at the same time, it feels dangerous.

I don’t know why, but since the time the idol poster was spread, I am not allowed to bring an incorrect answer with this ill-humour Karen-san.

“Now then, let’s go.” (Karen)

My journey to the Water capital, Hydra Ville, began with endless worry.

Previous Chapter l Next Chapter

 

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71 thoughts on “Chapter 36-38: Idol Hero

    1. Here’s some culture for you then.

      To touch or not to touch, that is the question:
      Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to touch
      The soft and sensual of outrageous fortune,
      Or to heed the warnings of a Sea of trouble,
      And by adhering to advice: to decline, to reject
      the rare occasion; and by rejection, lost opportunity
      the heart-ache, and the thousand mournful cries

      Liked by 15 people

      1. Ah, but you see, that’s the beauty of this piece. It doesn’t specifically cite any specific thing.

        Whether it’s normal, forbidden, or anything between that, it’s a monologue that fits many contexts. You want it to be about thighs? It can be about thighs. Breasts? Then breasts. Napes? Hands? Cheeks? Animal ears? A specific overall person?
        It all fits, and that is what makes it cultured.

        Like

      2. Thighs, breasts, napes, hands, cheeks, animal ears, a specific overall person, buttocks, lips, any other random female body part….they all lead to softness, even the flattest of walls will have a hill of softness, no matter how miniscule that hill is, as to what that hill is, only a fellow friend will be able to figure out.
        Anywho, whether we touch or not doth not matter, touch, and thy satisfy thy desire, touch not, and thy amplify thy desire, tis all good in the end, so cometh my bretheren, and follow thy desires

        Liked by 1 person

      3. How rude! So I didn’t seem enlightened before?

        I’m the same as always, except maybe a little more sleep than usual due to school break. No one did anything to me. =~=

        Like

      4. since you mention about THIGH pikli, do you also read Yuusha Ga Shinda ? the Hero of Volpuigh, the monsieur of THICC , the Bro of Bros, apostle of the Thighs, and the glorious admirer of high-kneesocks

        Liked by 1 person

  1. ““Mirack-chan, shut up.” (Karen)

    “Yes…” (Karen)

    The fire hero is so weak.”

    Second “Karen” should be “Mirack”. Also hahahahahahahaha so true. 😆

    By the by… I swiped “Mirack” into my phone without thinking about it, and it came up with “Miracle.” What do you think? Sounds kinda close, right? 🤔

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wow. I was worried Karen would stay blandly heroic, but she’s showing quite a lot of her other (scary) sides too. She’s really trying to assert herself over Haine, but not without any stupidly cliched violence. Just vague hints that are vague enough for the MC to not look like a dense fool. Not bad.

    Mirack has become kind of endearing too. She started out as the hardcore tough girl tsun archetype, but now she’s got so many weaknesses, she might as well be an assassination teacher.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Mirack became so endearing and meek. Not like I don’t like it though. And that Haine, pilfering the poster that cap visage had pilfered for himself, how dares he!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. of course its flat Karen he is touching a wall.. But if its a person well.. just prepare the sword…. ANd why do I feel that the water hero will look like Aqua for some reason

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Oh, yeah. It might be an unpopular opinion, but absolutely love Aqua because she’s quite adorable.

        It’s just that, she’s such an obnoxious and arrogant character that she’s the most adorable when she’s being bullied to tears, which is really easy to do too.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Such sweet sweet victory. For aqua that is.

        And personally her biggest victory for me is when she went ‘heh’ whe she saw kazuma’s Excalibur! (You know what i mean? Huehuehuw) since it clearly hit kazuma’s pride as a man.

        Truly… I wonder… just what kind of Jenny does kazuma have to make aqua went ‘heh’.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. As a side, I feel like it’s worth mentioning that Megumin gave it a tasteful sword-like name of “Excaliber”.

        For me, Aqua’s crowning achievement would probably be her trolling a certain Demon General with one of her few strong suits besides purification and party skills.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks 4 the translation!

    When there’s a significant space between “don’t” and “touch them” I get confused whether she wants him to touch them or not.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahahahahahahahabaha…

    I literally Laugh out Loud when she put the poster and let him touch the chest and said that it has hard flat feeling XD.

    And for the chapter shouldn’t word Love is appropriate here? Love Ride is better, isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. thanks for the chapter

    ” No, a great idea came to mind. Haine, you ride my flying machine! I will be the one riding at Karen-san’s back!” (Mirack)

    You already said it wasn’t.
    Ultimately it’s probably not.
    Right now, let’s just dream.
    I already said it again.
    :^)

    Like

  8. Thanks for the chapter. If negotiations do not go so well with the water hero have Karen and Mirack team together for duet song. Do not worry Haine I am sure eventually you will get your flying machine.

    Like

  9. I’m beginning to feel that Inflation’s obsessive affections for Haine (Entropy) are also reflected in her representative hero, Karen. It would be funny to find out that the heroes have similar traits to their respective Gods. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That may be a possibility. The Fire God did say they brought forth to combat the monsters a long time ago. This girls are probably descendants of the 1st group of Element Hero’s that came, so they might be related.

      Like

  10. Ahh jsut asking but will the characters like ‘mature’ in the coming chapters? I dunno why but im getting annoyed at karen, i still like it tho… ty for chap 🙂

    Like

  11. Ourassistant Hero is a tight bind here. About to tread in dangerous waters, possibly literally with the water hero involved.
    So hold unnecessarily tightly and close to but not within actual accidental touching distance of the boobs. Or there wil definitely be some jostling. With unknown results. Best advise i can give him at this precarious point.
    Thanks for the chapter

    Like

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